Using Child Care

Once you've chosen your child care arrangement, you'll begin the transition into the new program, and begin new relationships with providers, teachers and other families. Staying in close touch and monitoring the care your child receives is very important, no matter what type of child care you have chosen to use. Here are some topics to look into as you begin your child care experience.

Making the Transition into Care

Preparing Your Child for Care

Consider your child's temperament, age, and prior child care experience when looking at ways to prepare her for child care. Some ideas to help prepare your child include:

• Visiting the program with your child before care begins to meet the teachers, see the rooms and playground, and play with the toys and other children.
• Finding out as much information as you can about the program beforehand, so that you can answer your child's questions about what to expect.
• Talking to the provider/teachers about how they transition children into the program, and telling your child exactly what will happen during the transitional days.
• Reading books with your child about starting child care, or about new experiences in general.
• Making a family photo book with your child that she can take with her to child care for comfort and reassurance.
• Talking to other parents who have recently transitioned their children into care for ideas on how to make it as smooth as possible.

If you are leaving one program to begin care at another, make sure your child has the opportunity to say goodbye to the provider and the other children. Decide how you'll stay in touch with them, through photos, letters, etc.

Adjusting to Child Care

Both children and parents will feel the hardship of separating from one another, and feelings of fear and loss are common during this period of adjustment. Here are some things to consider as your child begins a new care experience:

• Always say goodbye to your child before leaving her at child care. Reassure her that you will be back at the end of the day, or let her know who will pick her up, and at what time.
• Try not to drag out your goodbye -- and never try to slip out without saying goodbye.
• It's common for children to adapt to a new provider or program quickly, then later have feelings of separation anxiety.
• Understand that it may take a few months for your child to adjust completely. You may see signs of "regression" during these months (for example, with toilet training or thumb-sucking). Soon, it will all become routine!
• Your child may experience disturbances in sleep or eating patterns.
• Older infants (6 to 12 months old) may have heightened stranger-anxiety at this stage of development; just be aware that the adjustment may be more difficult at this time.
• Make sure your provider or teachers have a number to reach you at during the day. Talk to them about the best time for you to call them to check in during the first few days or weeks of care.
• Place a short and sweet note in your child's backpack or lunch bag.

The End of the Day Transition

The end of the day can be a hectic time for everyone: parents are thinking about dinner preparation, providers and teachers are helping with goodbyes and clean up, and children are involved with activities. Here are a few things you can do to manage the transition from child care to home:

• Greet your child first thing! Show her that you're happy to see her, perhaps with a big hug.
• Greet your child's teachers and check in with them on how your child's day went. This will give you a good sense of her general mood, if she is feeling well, and if there is anything you need to know.
• If your child is in the middle of an activity, or if she's playing with other children, give her a few minutes to finish up. Tell her how long she has before she needs to say goodbye to her friends and go home.
• Some children may be reluctant to leave, and may even ignore your arrival. If your child refuses to leave, stay calm and be firm; sometimes this may entail picking her up and bringing her out to the car.
• Have a small snack in the car for the ride home, especially if it's a long ride.

Communicating With Your Child Care Provider

Establishing a Good Relationship

A solid relationship with your provider, built on mutual trust and respect, is key in making your child care arrangement work out well for everyone involved. Keep these tips in mind as you begin to build your relationship:

• Keep the lines of communication open at all times. Let your provider know if there is something going on in your child's life that may be affecting her behavior.
• Be aware of the program policies, and honor them. Respect the drop-off and pick-up times, and call if you are going to be late for any reason.
• Express interest in your provider's professional development. Both the program and your child will benefit from this.
• Get involved with the program. The more you participate, the more dedicated you'll feel, and your provider will always appreciate the help you offer.

Daily Communication

Every day you have the opportunity to connect with your child's teachers or provider. This daily check in, even if brief, helps to build trust and pass important information between you and your provider. Here are some ways to foster daily communication:

• Tell your provider how your child's morning has been so far, if he had a hard night, or if anything special has happened at home.
• If there is a change of plans, let your provider know who will be picking your child up that day.
  When you pick up your child, ask your provider how her day went, how she napped, slept, ate, etc.
• Leave the more in-depth questions or issues you have to discuss for another time -- perhaps over the phone or at an arranged time.
• If there are changes in your routine, let your provider know where you can be reached that day.
• Ask your provider how his day went!

Parent-Teacher Conferences

Another way to build understanding and communication between you and your child's care providers are through parent-teacher conferences. These are a more formal way for teachers and parents to discuss a child's development, and make the connection between home and school. When thinking about getting the most out of these conferences, here are some points to consider:

• Be prepared. Have a list of questions or concerns that you may have about your child and his development.
• Talk to your child before the conference about what she likes to do at school, who her friends are, etc.
• Find out what you can be doing at home to enhance your child's learning and development.
• Arrive at the conference on time: Usually there is a very limited time for these meetings, and you'll want to make the most of it!
• Most teachers will have examples of your child's work on hand to look through. If not, or if there's something you want to see, ask about it.
• Talk about any action you both may want to take regarding to your child's progress and future growth.
• Stay in touch!

Discussing Difficult Issues

There are bound to be certain topics or situations that are difficult to talk about with your child's provider or teachers. If you have developed an honest, open way of communicating with one another, discussing these issues as they arise won't be so hard. Things to consider when discussing difficult issues:

• Raise issues when they first develop. If you put off a discussion, it may be harder to bring it up again later, or you may never bring it up at all, and instead end up harboring resentment.
• Avoid confronting your provider in front of other parents or children. Set up a time to speak privately, in person, or over the phone.
• Think about what you want to discuss ahead of time, and even practice how you want to say it.
• Be specific about your concerns: Give examples of things that have happened or observations you've made.
• Never discuss a problem when you are feeling angry or not in control of your emotions.
• Remember that conflicts are normal and part of most relationships; they can usually be resolved when both parties can see each other's views and are willing to compromise.

Concerns About Your Child's Care

Warning Signs of Poor Care

If you have a problem or concern with your child care, make time to speak with the director or provider as soon as possible. If you have serious concerns about your child's health or well-being in the program, take immediate steps to protect your child. Most programs will have an "open-door" policy, where parents can visit the program at any time. As a parent, you should have access to your child at any time of the day.

Any patterns of disturbing events or reports from your child should never be ignored. If you still have concerns after speaking with your provider, you may choose to remove your child from your child care arrangement, and look for another program or provider.

If you suspect any type of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, remove your child from care until the situation is investigated or resolved to your complete satisfaction. Remember to trust your instincts, and ask a lot of questions if you have strong concerns.

Here are some of the warning signs of poor care to watch out for when observing the child care environment:

• Children left unattended
• Staff or providers are angry, rough, or moody with children or parents
• Too many children crowded into a small space
• Too few staff for the number for children present
• Infants restricted to cribs, playpens, walkers, or high chairs
• Noticeably dirty environment or children
• Poor sanitation practices, especially related to diapering and feeding
• Medications, poisons or cleaning supplies stored improperly
• Broken toys or unsafe equipment
• High staff turnover

Here are some of the warning signs of poor care to watch out for when observing your child's behavior:

• Your child cries repeatedly and resists staying at child care after adjustment period is over
• Your child shows signs of emotional or physical stress
• Your child talks about anger, violence, fears, or secrets that are not age-appropriate
• Your child appears to be unusually afraid of one teacher or provider
• Your child shows a sudden intense preoccupation with sexual matters, and may "act out" with dolls or other children
• Your child appears to be very hungry or thirsty without cause

How to Register Complaints

Find out about the program's procedures for handling parent complaints. There should be a clear set of guidelines that explain complaint procedures and advise parents that unresolved complaints be sent to the appropriate child care licensing agency.

If you have concerns about abuse or neglect, or your child care program's state licensing compliance, contact your state's licensing office and/or Department of Social Services. They will listen to your concerns and investigate the situation. Contact us for help with this process.

CCR&R's Policy on Child Care Program Complaints